Talking to our children

A while ago I read that the best way to talk to boys is when you have them in the van. That boys don't like to be face to face when they talk. (I wish I could remember where I read it). I find it difficult to hold meaningful conversations in the van with my kids as I struggle to hear them from behind me, so I filed the info away for reference and thought no more of it.

A little while ago, while I was giving Shira a massage I realized that we have our own version of "van talking". Most nights I give the kids an aromatherapy massage and while I giving it to them, they talk to me. I'm finding out little gems about how the children think and more importantly they talk about issues that worry them.

The massages started as a way to help Ben and Shira relax before bedtime, but now I think they may serve an even more important role. I can see them lasting for many years to come. I love how it allows them to open up to me in a safe way. I'm sure that talking about their feelings while being touched makes it a much safer experience for them.